By Mary Saylor, M.Ed

Your Light Was Never Meant to Be Bought

A December Message Every Teacher Needs to Hear

By the time December rolls around, most teachers I know are running on caffeine, peppermint chapstick, and the hope that winter break will magically solve everything we’ve been carrying since August.

You’ve probably had that moment—the one where you’re standing in Target after a long day, holding a $14 mug for a coworker you adore, and the voice in your head whispers:

“Is this enough?”
“Should I do more?”
“Does this show that I care?”

It’s wild how fast the holidays turn generosity into pressure and expectations into obligations.

But here’s the truth:

You already shine.

Your presence, your compassion, your creativity, your humor—the way you show up for your students even when you’re exhausted… none of that has ever depended on how much you spend in December.

Your light isn’t something you purchase.

It’s something you protect.

And I know how easy it is to forget that.

The Year of the Socks We Never Owned

One of the first years my husband and I were married, we were broke—I’m talking “looking for quarters in the couch to buy milk” broke.

But we wanted to show our families (including my eight siblings!) how much we loved them. So we bought everyone gifts we absolutely Could. Not. Afford.

Cute socks. Sport hats. Matching little sets.
We wrapped everything with care, feeling proud and generous.

Until January came.

And the credit card bill came with it.

We had put that entire holiday on a card and ended up paying for it for years.

Literal years.

Those socks?
They were worn out long before the debt was gone.

My husband still calls that holiday “The year of the socks we never owned.”

And honestly?
Nothing about that experience made us better siblings.
It didn’t strengthen relationships.
It didn’t bring peace.

What it brought was something teachers know too well:

The quiet ache of guilt, pressure, and the belief that love has to come with a price tag—whether that cost is money, time, or emotional bandwidth.

What We Don’t Realize About Holiday Pressure

Researchers call it “pressure spending”—the habit of buying (or doing) more when we feel stressed, insecure, or afraid of disappointing someone.

Teachers are especially vulnerable to it because we are professional givers:

• We give our lunch breaks.
• We give our weekends.
• We give our emotional energy to 120 teenagers a day.
• We give until there’s barely anything left for ourselves.

And when December arrives—full of classroom chaos, concerts, finals, assemblies, and school-wide “fun” events —we start believing the lie:

More giving = more love.
More spending = more meaning.
More doing = more worth.

But the truth is much simpler:

You don’t need a bigger budget. You need a brighter boundary.

Not “How much can I give?” but “How can I more authentically connect?”

Not “How much can I afford?” but “What aligns with the values I want to teach in my classroom?”

Three Small Steps to Protect Your Light This December

These gentle strategies are designed specifically for teachers navigating holiday overwhelm, burnout, and the pressure to do and buy “all the things.”

1. Define Your “Enough” (Before the World Defines It for You)

Here’s why this matters for teachers:
When you already feel stretched thin, even tiny decisions can drain your mental energy. (Decision fatigue is real, especially in December.)

So before the season sweeps you away, pause and ask:

• “What is enough for me this year?”
• “Which traditions matter—and which ones do I do out of obligation?”
• “Where am I spending money or time to avoid disappointing someone?”

Write it down.
Post it on your fridge.
Screenshot it as your lock screen.

Clarity creates calm. And calm protects your light.

2. Set Gentle Boundaries Around Your Time, Money & Energy

Teachers often think boundaries are harsh. They’re not.
Boundaries are kindness—especially in winter.

Try setting limits like:

• “We’re doing simple gifts this year.”
• “One school event per week, not five.”
• “No last-minute spending unless it sparks genuine joy.”
• “My weekends are for rest, not running errands.”

Think of boundaries like classroom routines:
They don’t restrict you — they support you.

3. Replace Pressure-Giving with Presence-Giving

This is where the magic happens.

Shift from:

“What should I buy?” to “How can I show up meaningfully?”

Small, heartfelt things often matter far more than a gift bag:

• A handwritten note
• A memory you share with someone
• A thoughtful text
• A moment where you’re fully present

In teaching, we know it’s rarely the fancy activity students remember — it’s the connection.

The same is true at home.

Your presence is the real gift. Always has been.

A Simple, Supportive Way to Step Into a Calmer December

If this is stirring something in you — if your heart is whispering, “I can’t do another December like last year…” — I want you to know this:

You are not failing.
You just need a system that supports your wellbeing.

And that’s exactly why I created the Spend Less, Shine More workbook.

 Inside this 10-page guide, you’ll find:

• Prompts to help you clarify what truly matters to you
• Tools to reduce pressure-spending and obligation-giving
• Gentle boundaries you can set without guilt
• A simple plan for an aligned, values-driven holiday
• A calmer path through teacher holiday exhaustion

It’s the first step toward a December that doesn’t drain you — a December where your light feels protected, not pressured.

✨ Download your free Spend Less, Shine More Guide HERE.

Because you deserve a season that lights you up! 

As you move into this season…

May you shine in ways only you can.

Not because of what you buy.
Not because of what you give.
But because of who you are.

Important Note

I am not a financial professional and cannot guarantee any specific results. I'm a teacher, who started practicing healthy boundaries, got out of debt, and saved 6 months of income. All budgeting and spending guidance is for educational and supportive purposes only.

Photo Credits: 

2.  Christmas Decor on Christmas Tree , by lonakozhevnikova on Canva. 

3. Cozy christmas feet in festive socks by a warm fireplace by Pop Andrea.